Whats normal?

Submitted by jejunestar on
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This may prove to be a useless question to ask as I understand how it would be largely person. However, I would like to see how others think and what I may consider "normal", at least for me. Or maybe not even "normal", but just what feels most right and best to me.

So, this is about: looking at women (or men for females). Especially in porn recovery, is it okay to consistently check out other women? Their breasts, butt, face, cleavage, etc? What is acceptable enough? Will it cause further struggle, or is it healthy and will it drive away one from porn?

I suppose it is also a bit of trial and error one must do. I have largely avoided looking at any women and checking them out. But I am beginning to feel this is very unnatural and strange of me. But I also do not want to fall deep in to a binge.

Any comments welcome. Thanks.


I have no idea what qualifies as "normal", but however often you do it, please try to be discreet - no checking out other women in front of a girlfriend, and no staring. Trust me on this.

I think our culture makes it

I think our culture makes it think it's fine to check out various female features and men get that ingrained in their head. The bad news is that creates stereotypes of women and you start to think of them sexually before thinking of them as a human.

My opinion? Try looking them in the eye, smiling, and saying hello. Get to know women as people, scrap the checking out stuff for a while until your head is clear.

I'm not suggesting that you can't be attracted to women, it's natural. But I think porn leads men into thinking about women as sexual beings first and as humans second.

I'm not picking on you, I've fought the same issues. I'm just amazed how fair a smile and hello goes. Especially with women that are stared at all the time by men in heat.

Well said. A smile and hello

Well said. A smile and hello are wonderful things. I am not particularly interested in checking out girls, but occasionally I feel compelled to. I just want to keep everything level while I make my recovery. Thanks for the replies.