Addiction inside relationship

Submitted by Butterbeard on
Printer-friendly version

Hi
This is my 1st post on this forum, but I've been reading posts on reuniting for years...
I brought Peace between the sheets almost as soon as it came out, because I needed help with my porn habit. I've been struggling to come to terms with my own pornography addiction for years. I tried giving up porn by myself time and time again, but only managed to reduce my consumption. There had been times where I managed to hold off from masturbation and pornography for months at a time before relapsing, but I lied to myself, telling myself that I was no longer addicted. . I managed to cut down and found a wonderful girlfriend. When we first met we were both worried about intercourse, so we both read Cupid's Poisoned Arrow together and had some lovely karezza style intimacy as well as more goal orientated sex. I never told her that I had a pornography addiction and I even lied to myself. I pretended that the karezza style sex I was having would protect me from my addiction. I had been masturbating to pornography behind my partners back every few days for nearly two years with some long months off and she recently found out and we are confronting this problem together. I already feel like I am making some headway after admitting to her the full extent of my problem because the lies I had been telling to her were the same as the ones I had been telling to myself. She is really upset with the lies that I have told her, so I am trying to focus on being honest. I'm telling people that I have an addiction because this was the area I failed in every other time I tried to give up. It's extremely difficult, if not impossible to give up a pornography addiction by yourself. I've installed a porn blocker which only my partner knows the password to and I've been looking at other groups of people to contact to help me be successful this time. I would appreciate any support that you can give me.

Good to have you aboard

I'll enable you to blog. Have you sniffed around over at www.yourbrainonporn.com? Watched the videos? Do you exercise regularly? Meditate? Tried the hypnosis? Any of the other ideas at YBOP for strengthening your balance? http://yourbrainonporn.com/tools-for-change#tools

May I also suggest that if you know another forum member intimately...you also join an additional online support forum? You're right that you need to get some things off your chest. There may be some things you really need to say ONLY to those who have lived through porn addiction. Other sites: http://yourbrainonporn.com/discussion-board

That said, we hope to share your journey with you, too.