Relapse and hopefully the last straw

Submitted by Searcher1 on
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I've been abstaining from PMO on and off for a year or so now, periods of willpower marred by relapses. I think last night might have been the breaking point for me. First, I spent hours that I could have used doing work or other productive things I enjoy chatting on a sex site, and secondly, I was up so late doing so that I came to bed late and my tossing and turning woke up my wife, who had to get up for work. She didn't manage to fall back asleep and so went in for a day of work on about four hours sleep thanks to me. She was so sweet and didn't blame me for it, but I secretly felt terrible, and tried to do whatever I could around the house to make it up to her. When it's interfering with my work and making me feel like a worthless asshole, I say it's definitely time for PMO to go.

Idea for you and it's bold.

Idea for you and it's bold. A few people on this site told me I needed to talk to my wife about my use of porn. I thought they were nuts but after some thought and encouragement had the discussion. The conversation went well and has led us to a complete refreshing of our relationship. We talk more, experiment with karezza, and have stopped avoiding discussing anything.

I wish I would have done it sooner. It is very powerful to get close to your wife. So now instead of running for the computer at night, I cuddle up to my wife in bed while she sleeps. Guess what? I get way more from the cuddle than the 30 seconds of orgasm high from the computer.

Another thing I used. After feeling I was recovered, I intentionally did a MO and journaled my feelings for the next week in detail (starting minutes after the O). The result was amazing. I couldn't believe the mood change and how that helped me realize that PMO was not returning the high I previously thought it was. CPA gave me the idea to do this (I wanted to measure the books ideas on myself in a controlled way)

When I measure the same thing after an hour of cuddling into karezza, the results are completely opposite. Long answer, but consider leaning on your wife and talk through the issue. It's a bold step, but really helps.