♥@Freedom: Long distance karezza relationships

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Submitted by Rachel on
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Freedom, I didn't want to take away from Mrs. Tornfromabook's "O" thread, so I moved your question to me over here~~you said:

"Do you benefit somehow from the time apart? I would guess it might allow post-processing, self-growth, and inner balance. How in touch are you during the week? Karezza seems to be as much about how to be apart as it is about how to be together. Perhaps there should be more books and research on connections at a distance."

As for your first question, time apart does allow for self-reflection, self-growth, etc.~~but on the other hand, it's hard to be away from the one you love. I think we both live with the knowledge that this won't be forever, but we just don't know how or when things will change~~and for me, a lifelong "planner" of things, it's been a challenge just to sit back and take life one day at a time and appreciate the now--but it's been a good lesson for me. So you are correct in saying that karezza is about how to be apart; it's a blessing to be happy with yourself and not feel needy nor have that sense of lack and honestly, I don't know if I could have handled this time apart had we been practicing conventional sex all these months. I know my "feeling of lack" would be over-the-top and I'm pretty sure I would have scared him away with all my emotional neediness. I feel so blessed to have come to this forum and consequently, I have learned how to be a much more lovable and loving woman.

We communicate frequently all throughout the day when we are apart; we usually have a morning phone call with follow-up phone calls throughout the day, along with funny texts, cellphone photos of something we are doing or seeing, etc. I must say he is very good at making me feel loved when we are apart. I don't have a webcam, so we haven't gone that route, but it will probably be in the future.

Long-distance relationships are made so much easier with the invention of texting, cellphones, etc.~~I am very grateful for this technology!

Techie note

Since you're so kind about indexing your wonderful posts, here's a refinement: put commas between the terms, or the system makes a hash of them. Smile

How much of your feeling

How much of your feeling loved is from what he is doing that others might not versus from your processing of what he is doing? Do you think that shift in you is due to your personal growth, karezza, both/something else?

It will be interesting when you cease to be long-distance and can note any differences in better detail. Have you spent longer vacations together?

Do you feel that the energetic depth of your remote communications has similarly grown?

Feeling loved

Most of my feeling loved comes from what he is doing~~I can honestly say I've never been with a man who seems to enjoy hearing my voice or talking to me as much as he does. He often calls me for no reason at all, which I love. He sings to me when I answer the phone, he sends me photos of flowers as gifts, he just makes me feel like I'm there with him all the time.

The part that is so beneficial for me about karezza (no orgasms) is I don't interpret any little silence from him as rejection (which I would have in the past).

The longest span of time we've been together was three days straight when we drove down to Georgia and he helped me clean out the house I had sold. That little trip was amazingly fun for the amount of work we had to do and the little bit of time we had. I look forward to longer trips/time together, but will have to wait until his daughters are a bit older for that, but it's okay, the time will come~

And yes, our remote communications have gotten so easy...in the beginning, having not been in the dating world for over 20 years, I was nervous and didn't know what we would talk about, etc. Fortunately, we are way past that stage. We find ourselves texting each other at the exact same moment and thinking the same thoughts all the time. I don't ever really feel like we're *that* far apart anymore.

Thanks for your questions and making me think, Freedom!

rediscovered

I've read

that karezza makes people telepathic together. So what you say here is proof of that. I'm sure it happens in conventional relationships too, but I get the sense it's stronger in karezza relationships. I can't wait to experience that myself!

Telepathic?

It looks that way, sometimes.

I'm thinking something, he says it. We laugh.

We both see the same thing along side the road, and make the same joke. (Chair. Sofa. Hideabed. Console TV. Bed. It's a long standing joke about the various pieces of furniture and household items we see on the side walk on the way home from work.)

We come up with the same ideas, want the same things out of life.

We're in some kind of rhythmic sync. Like when too people are walking along together, and they adjust their pace so that they walk in in the same stride. But if one person changes the flow, the other person follows. But there's no real leader.

http://www.youtube.com/v/Ojq_fv1pwpE

Quizure

"Takes two to tango, two to tango,
two to really get the feeling of romance.
Lets do the tango, do the tango,
do the dance of love."
-- Louis Armstrong

telepathic/karezza

[quote=Quizure]It looks that way, sometimes.

I'm thinking something, he says it. We laugh.

We both see the same thing along side the road, and make the same joke. (Chair. Sofa. Hideabed. Console TV. Bed. It's a long standing joke about the various pieces of furniture and household items we see on the side walk on the way home from work.)

We come up with the same ideas, want the same things out of life.

We're in some kind of rhythmic sync. Like when too people are walking along together, and they adjust their pace so that they walk in in the same stride. But if one person changes the flow, the other person follows. But there's no real leader.

http://www.youtube.com/v/Ojq_fv1pwpE

Quizure

"Takes two to tango, two to tango,
two to really get the feeling of romance.
Lets do the tango, do the tango,
do the dance of love."
-- Louis Armstrong[/quote]
Quizure I feel that I have a telepathic karezza relationship with a man friend that is very dear to me and lives rather far. He now has a partner but I still feel this telepathic link to him. Do you think this is possible even if we have never been more than friends? It was never a sexual relationship as much as I let him know that I wanted it to be sexual he told me that he was attracted to me but that I was not ready for a relationship and that what I was feeling for him was lust. It took a while but I now know he was right...the lust has calmed but he is still very dear to me and I can now say that I love him as a person and not an object of my lustful desire. Or do you think two people must share a physical relationship in order to tap into a telepathic relationship?

Apart but never alone

Whenever I am away from someone I love, I find meditation eases my mind. I take a moment to completely relax myself and clear my mind. Then I picture my love, almost as if in slow motion; treasuring every detail. I start with something small or simple, like remembering the sound of his voice (I love the way he says my name), or the way he smells. Then I work my way up to touch, like the way his skin feels beneath my hands. Remembering every line and curve and freckle. Or the way his hair feels in my hands. Then I get to the good stuff. His smile, which I always find myself smiling at even when he's not around. The infinite serenity of him touching me. The thousands of kisses we've shared. (Its more like hundreds, maybe even less than that but it feels like thousands.) And last but certainly not least, his eyes. The intensity of his eyes are enough to melt away all of my aches and worries.
When I meditate, I don't feel anything sexual. Just him. Just how he makes me feel. It doesn't make me sad, or make me miss him or long for him anymore than I already do. It fills my heart to the brim and spills over to the rest of my body and mind, purifying me with light. The light of my love for him. Whether I haven't seen him in a few days or a few years, I feel his presence inside me and beside me. Always.
Wow, I didn't mean to become emotional. I sound like I'm married or something and this guy doesn't even know I'm in love with him yet.....

~Free-Spirited~

I don't know. Maybe

I don't know. Maybe tomorrow, maybe ten years from now. :) I look forward to the moment when it does happen though. Until then I'm just enjoying what we have now, which is an incredible companionship with special romantic features. Lol!

~Free-Spirited~

By definition

By definition, I would assume they are mutual (connection meaning *both* parties).

I have no idea how common it is to share all four, but I *do* know it is a beautiful thing when it happens. Sometimes you get the feeling that someone has been "sent" to you, like an angel, and it makes you want to bow down in gratitude.

rediscovered

Connection

Freedom, just look up the definition to the word "connection" and you will see that is always the link between *two* things. Smile

rediscovered

Of course, but we're not

Of course, but we're not just talking about a simple connection. One person might feel the connection more strongly than another. That intensity is variable. Why couldn't one person feel no connection? If we're at angel level, is it always discernible to both? Are they always mutual angels?

Freedom

I can't answer your questions, but I suppose I just don't think of these type of connections as ever being one-sided (can't wrap my head around that)~~to me, if any of them were one-sided, then it would no longer be a connection.

And I think the angel comment was just a way to say that it's a very special thing to meet a person with whom you share a connection on all these levels (and I agree, it *is* very rare, and when it happens, it does somehow feel "not of this earth").

rediscovered

That should satisfy most humans.

[quote=]One never knows, but the twin will certainly appear. If it is not in this life, then it will be the next life at the latest. So do not despair. The twin will definitely turn up. You have no choice in this matter.[/quote]

That should satisfy most humans. Perhaps eHarmony and similar have the matching algorithms right for the next life at the latest. Or perhaps they are doing their part to blend the soul groups on the path to reunification.

One has to wonder about some of this as there is no way to know what is real versus reverse engineered to fit the limited perceptions of our human experience.

Wouldn't soul groups have all four connections? Twin souls sounds stronger than the four connections.

According to one study

13% of couples stayed romantically, sexually in love long-term (median, 8 years). So that leaves the rest of us in need of doing something different if we want to foil biology's built-in tension between our bonding and (novel) mating programs. Smile

Of course, the study didn't look into their use of bonding behaviors or ask about karezza. So we don't know if the "lucky 13%" could also have untapped potential.

http://www.psychologymatters.org/pubs/journals/releases/gpr13159.pdf