Howdy. I'm on day 42 with no PMO.
I find that as hard as it has been to abstain from PMO, and have abstained for 42 continuous days--wow--, it has been easy compared to keeping fantasizing at bay. In that respect I have failed mostly.
I've always had a very vivid imagination. Not that I could see images in my mind, but my body always reacts to what I'm thinking about, and I get very focused on what I'm thinking about. If I imagine I'm having a conversation, sometimes I'll will start talking aloud. If I imagine I'm getting sick, my glands will feel swollen. And I won't hear actual people in the room calling my name, etc. So, when I think about a woman I saw at the mall, or on a movie, or about my old girlfriend, well, just thinking is very pleasurable.
And I can fantasize for three hours or more just laying there trying to get to sleep. I will try to distract by thinking about a mechanical process, or about a computer program or something, or about my parents or something. But my mind will go right back to the fantasy, because the fantasy is way more pleasurable. Can I blame my poor mind? I know it's a case of my natural inclination not being in line with my long-term welfare, but I don't know how to switch directions.
We all know about the "don't think about elephants" phenomenon. Ok, raise it to the tenth power. You get "don't think about the most pleasurable thing you can think about, and if you do, you will mess up your recovery, so you really need to not think about that thing that is so extremely pleasant to think about."
I also wonder sometimes, "Well, isn't it ok to fantasize about just making out with someone?" But I'm starting to think maybe that is counterproductive too.
I'm going to keep trucking, of course, but I would like to hear any ideas you may have on this. What works? What doesn't? What kind of thinking is going to help? What kinds of thinking are going to mess up my circuits?