Ive visited this website a number of times before. Ive been fighting this addiction for a number of years now. Since ive been fighting this, ive realised what ive given up for this addiction and what more its trying to take from me. Ive distanced many of my close friends because i was afraid they were getting to close, that they would find out my secret and that they would be ashamed of me....something i couldn't let happen. Ive seen people who were once behind me in life, soar pass me with their various achievements, while ive been in the same place, fighting an addiction i should never have fallen into. I recently visited some family who i havent seen for a while, and it hit me hard how much ive changed for the worse since they last saw me. They noticed the changes in me and asked what had happened. I said it was just me growing up, but in my mind i was screaming that it was my addiction that had destroyed me! I dont want to live like this any more. There is an important moment in my life thats coming up in 6 months, and at that moment i want to say im 6 months clean. Im going to be writing everyday for those 6 months in order to encourage myself to stay clean. Anyone else who wants to join me on this journey are most welcome, because for so long ive been fighting this alone, and have failed. Ive gone through so many withdrawls and depressions and most of the side effects associated with this porn and masturbation addiction. I just want to read this first post in 6 months time and say to myself with all my hear this was where i managed to finally beat it!!!!