Looking back, I think maybe I spent the past 25 years or so having intense fantasies and horniness for much of the day. I only used porn for a year or maybe a year and a half of that time. But back then, after a trip to the mall, or to any social gathering, I would have "saved" some images in my mind which I could use for M-ing purposes. Long, vivid, lurid, steamy fantasies just filling my head. A sex catalog. Lust really hijacked my mind.
These days (day 77) I go to the mall and I find I still have the habit to look, to ogle, but it just feels strange. Part of the reason it feels strange is because I generally go into a breathing exercise whenever it happens. I just take some deep breaths and sort of try to make sure "nothing happens." To make sure I don't get aroused or excited. I'm trying to avoid going sex-crazy, I guess.
But I'm starting to worry just a little bit that maybe I'm backing up a little to far. In other words, am I avoiding enticement just a little too stringently? Don't I want to find women arousing?
Maybe I'm babbling, but I would like to hear your thoughts on this.