I had an okay day today, and after being awake for more than 16 hours, I still can't sleep. I had an experience after leaving my house that just reminds me of the old days before I got into Masturbation. Basically on my way to the movies I made eye contact with a guy who was staring at me very hard, so I looked back of course. I don't think he liked this very much as he got very angry and exclaimed " What the F*ck are you looking at?" Had I not been in a taxi, this would've been a fight, easily, but it reminded me of the old days when I got into a lot of fights simply because people didn't like me. I've always lived in these kinds of places where making eye contact with the wrong person can land you in a world of trouble, and this has shaped me into the guy that I am today. Introverted... Or am I?
I've done my research on introversion and extroversion, and I've taken human metrics tests waay too many times(It's so easy to manipulate lol), but I'm confused now. In 2008 when I first started this experiment , I frequently got results that said "You're an Introvert!" but now all I get is Extrovert and it's an overwhelming result too. Of course Nature vs Nurture comes into play when you look at anyone's tendencies towards introversion/extroversion, but ever since I started on this no porn thing I've slowly become more and more self confident.However, although I may be more open to meet people and I may talk better, I still flake on people so that I can be alone to watch my anime and just be by myself. I still don't like the idea of going out to clubs and parties. I still don't see the point in alcohol consumption. And honestly, I'm starting to miss playing my old favorite game. I do want a girlfriend though.
I don't know where this is leading to be completely honest, but what if Introversion is an evolutionary trait as a response to where the world has gone. Realistically speaking, there's terrorism, disease outbreaks, murder, drugs, and you really can't be too sure of the person you sit next to on the train. I don't mean to sound pessimistic either, but The truth of the world is that it's a very bad place. What if while at one time in history, we needed to be social creatures, but now we need to get a loved one and move to a quiet peaceful place away from the things of man. What if all these gurus who speak of enlightenment being "Something one finds from within" is completely true? Where would that leave the scientific data on humans needing to be in tribes?
It's like it's in our nature to be extroverted, but the world nurtures us to be introverted. Or is it just me?
Strive for optimal efficiency!