Changing our emotional response versus changing our external situation

Submitted by freedom on
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Literature, such as that by Eckhart Tolle, suggests that we can change our reaction by focusing on ourselves and moderating our present response. If a situation makes one emotional, we can change our reaction and that will change our response to the situation. How can we know when our response is the correct response for us and indicates that we should instead change the situation? There must be some situations that are meant to be changed. How do we identify that tipping point between the need for inner and outer change so as to make clearer decisions? Do we make the internal changes first? How can we be sure we’ve made enough inner change and are not falling into our own delusion? Are there any books on this nuance of this sort of topic?

Eckhart Tolle I hear merely

Eckhart Tolle I hear merely borrows from a lot of Eastern religious thought. He is right but I think he doesn't explain clearly what it means to focus on ourselves and change our present response. I don't know if its necessary to change our emotional reaction, rather than to just be aware of our emotional state as the external situation is happening. Doing so provides a more detached way of seeing the external situation. Response is always better than reaction. Some situations need you to respond, some need you to react, and some you can simply ignore. The more aware you are, the more an inner voice will tell you what exactly to do in each given situation. Here are some books that I think may have the answers you seek:

Awareness: The Key to Living in Balance by Osho*. This book definitely opened my eyes. For example, let's take the emotion anger. He says anger comes from the past. Past wounds flare up when faced with present situations that trigger it. Basically, the person with full awareness is not controlled emotionally by external situations, but rather is always in control of him/herself. I have a hunch you'll like this book.

Intuition: Knowing Beyond Logic also by Osho*. This book is dangerous because once you read it, you won't be able to see things the same way again. This talks about how to develop that inner voice/guide and how to "know without knowing." When I say how, I don't mean this is a step-by-step how to book, but rather it gives you understanding and encourages you to stop seeking answers from other people, but rather to follow your own inner voice. Funny, dangerous, and some parts are definitely a bit crackpot. Great blog, deals with spiritual/awareness issues. He answers a lot of the types of questions you may ask. He borrows a lot from osho, buddha, etc.