Hope this is in the right place...I have a theory.... and a question, both, really.... So men went into it this way... being addicted to the form, creating an addiction to "lust" thereby creating our situation for the most of us.
For women, It was not so obvious... see, instead of creating an ideal "porn star" image that was an ideal they were attracted to, they created the prince charming image that created them so many problems...most women I know won't even take a chance with a man even if they haven't gotten laid in ages, bc he aint even half the man they dreamed up, just like a man can't get off bc he is used to porn star images...So heres the dilemna...
In my experience, I grew up in an extremist, religious, brainwashed upbringing. I have been with only 6 women and I am the family slut by a long shot just to put in perspective(total family cousins grandchildren, etc, like 100 or 200 people). Now a few years ago, I learned of a technique: bust the woman's chops, tease her, make fun of her, in a subtle enough way to make her laugh, but not enough to really offend her. The idea is you are borrowing ideas from the a**holes, the "bad boys" that all women are attracted to, but not actually being one. This brought me limited success, but never in the amount I wanted. Ultimately, I simply want, not to be a man-whore, but to have the power to choose the one I want, a power like 90 something % of all women enjoy.
Then there is this idea of chivalry and treating a women like a goddess. All I know is that, in the right context, this can be very powerful, too. Ultimately I would choose this option as its really the way I want to be. Sacred Sexuality, You are as my Goddess, I am as your God. But most women I know don't respond to this, act like the guy's just a pushover, and eventually completely ignore him.
I see they are jaded by their power. how did they get this power? the chicken or the egg? as mantak chia says in his book, women find it easier to not waste sexually energy bc their organs are on the inside, making it easier for that energy to be drawn inward and upward, through the chakras, wheras man has learned to expel it when its too much, or did it happen this way? Over time, maybe women were first to learn this technique, which over time and evolution of body and spirit (the body forms around the soul, say personologists), their organs moved more inward. In the bible it says eve was first to try the fruit and it was told her by the serpent, which, if you are into the gnostic idea like me, you read into everything and reading between the lines, the serpent telling her this points to kundalini and women learned it first over time, then taught it to men. Add to this the fact that men have put women in lower positions politically and spiritually and treated them "lower" for ages and even denied the divine feminine, women have learned to use their subtle energy to control man as a defense mechanism. Now does this "karezza" idea, the tao lovemaking way of sharing more yang with a woman than can be shared in traditional lovemaking, change this balance? Do women respond differently when the inherent energy a man brings to a situation is different? more like he is trying to make friends first? Treat her as his Goddess? Or does this treating them as a goddess thing have to be tempered with the above teasing, busting chops thing?
Its not that I necessarily want it to be easy, or not really have to work for it, just that I think I shouldn't have to. There should be some cosmic connection, instinct, I know its there cuz I felt it at times, something that guides us to the right people with little effort. But why are women so difficult? I mean, I've had women friends tell me I'm "gorgeous", "good-looking", etc and girlfriends tell me I'm the best person they ever met, yet I have such a hard time getting dates, or getting close to women, not like I'm doing some stupid redneck maneuvres or something, don't understand why this is so difficult? maybe I'm not as great as they tell me, but I see lesser men get women all the time. I have learned things most men don't ever even know about how to please a woman, and even know how to have non-ejaculatory, multiple O's for me, which should definitely help her in the yin-yang equation, I can transmit more total yang if I don't just expel it, just want someone to share this with. So, women out there, and men chime in too if have some insight, what's going on here? Or maybe, women living in the same area as me with a certain predominant religion, they all grew up with the same brainwashing, only they only simply realized they didn't want to live that religious and chose a different path unlike me who realized the depth of the brainwashing and seeks to undo it every day, choosing a VERY different path, thereby making me more completely free of it. Wow this is a mouthful. Do what u will with it.