High-functioning autism or Asperger's?

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Submitted by Marnia on
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Someone wrote me with this question:

I am wondering if you have come across anyone with high-functioning autism or Asperger's (or their partner) who has experience or interest in karezza. Does it pose extra challenges with intimacy, communication, eye contact or porn? They often need a lot of time and space to themselves.

Anyone with insights on this can share them below, or private message me here: http://www.reuniting.info/privatemsg/new/2

Thanks.

Pinup has said she thinks she has Asperger's-

Freaky Fred has said he has it- and I may have it as well- Pinup and I are both interested in karezza. AS people are often noted for being very honest, to a degree that is not *normally* the case in social interactions, thus there can be trouble navigating the culture of "white lies" that is typical socializing- there can be a great *openness* in those with AS, which can be painful at times in life but which can, potentially, I theorize, lead to such a person also being unusually open with their partner. I know for me over the years most (all?) of the women I've been very close with have tended to ask me, "what are you thinking when you look at me like that?" Usually, I think I am admiring them deeply, almost spiritually you could say- but I don't think they're used to being revered. There is a man named William Stillman who has written a book called "Autism and the God Connection"- he posits that AS people are often shamans/mystics of a sort, often with spiritual abilities of some kind. I think this is true of me, which is why karezza is such an excellent fit for me sexually.

I've certainly had trouble making eye contact at times- but when I am very relaxed and comfortable I can almost perceive the other person "spiritually" thru my gaze being very reverent and awed by the miraculousness that is a beautiful woman. Eye contact problems often correlate for me with the feeling that typical social interactions are "lies" of a kind. I feel clairvoyant to such lies which can thus be painful to participate in.

As far as my porn addiction, it was perhaps almost *inevitable* that I would become addicted to this due to my awful awkwardness as a teenager, coupled with my almost holy reverence for beautiful girls around me who seemed almost too divine to consider engaging with- and of course were I to *try* to engage with them I would find myself feeling as tho I were from another world- I often felt far more serious than those around me and somehow unable to just be frivolous, or to joke around- thus flirting seemed impossible to me tho I very much would have loved to have felt graceful doing it.

As I've gotten older I've managed to loosen up quite a bit, to the point that now at age 36 I am really the most "laid back" and able to just hang out that I've ever been. I think AS and karezza can go really well together- certainly there is such an *unusual* aspect to both, that I think they can work well together.

There is a tendency for AS people to crave time alone periodically- but there is also a tendency for those with AS to become obsessed with a subject and become masters of it- certainly this is the case for me with karezza- I've read (and continue to read) everything I can find on the subject- and I am determined to become very good at it when I find a partner who is totally in love with it, as I am. So in this way I can envision a combination of having AS and being interested in karezza as leading to a very unusually *close* connection between two people- certainly this is my goal when I find a lover who shares my interest in karezza. :)

Roll call

[quote]Freaky Fred has said he has it- and I may have it as well- Pinup and I are both interested in karezza.[/quote]
For the record, I'm also interested in Karezza, although it'll probably be a while before I'm able to practice it.

Aspies are usually more honest because they don't detect certain cues that the average person would pick up on and then decide to sugarcoat or lie about something. These same people would probably call us "insensitive" or "rude" when we're just being oblivious and mean no harm. :P

My partner has noticed that I struggle with eye contact, and has remarked that I make more use of non-verbal expressions than words when communicating with her. She didn't judge this as being "good" or "bad", it just came up in conversation.

[quote]There is a man named William Stillman who has written a book called "Autism and the God Connection"- he posits that AS people are often shamans/mystics of a sort, often with spiritual abilities of some kind.[/quote]
Maybe highly autistic people are like that, but I'm not so sure about our type. I know that I definitely haven't yet awakened any of my spiritual abilities.

[quote]There is a tendency for AS people to crave time alone periodically-[/quote]
This I can strongly relate to. I hate being constantly stuck in interactions with other people, just as much as I hate being alone too often.

"Hello new friend, my name is Fred! The words you hear are in my head.
I say, I said, my name is Fred! And I've been... very nauuughtyyy..."

Hmm

I have trouble making eye contract with people but usually when I do I can't focus as well as hearing their voice but I can understand them if I do look into their eyes. I'm also somewhat awkard and crave to be alone yet yearn to be with someone (sometimes feeling I'd rather be alone). I wasn't like this until I became a teenager and I do come from a traumatic upbringing which I think, at least in my opinion, that I avoid people because of severe trust factors (though when I have the chance to hang with new people I avoid them and don't feel comfortable). I feel like over the years though I've managed to become totally social and can manage on my own. Are there good test sites where I can diagnose myself?