I am 16 days PMO free. I almost relapsed last night (Maybe I did, depends on how you classify it; looked at P photos for a few minutes before closing them, no M though). Today I feel worse than I ever have.
Seriously, last week I was feeling great. Maybe it was some sort of mental placebo effect or something, but I was mostly positive, and when I wasn't I was able to talk myself through down periods. I was committed to reconnecting with people again (I planned social activities; something I hadn't done in ages) and I was talking/flirting with girls in class (again, something I hadn't done in at least a year).
These past two days I have felt like a zombie. I feel like I've been going through the motions of my life. It's like I've been watching it on a screen. Sitting next to the same people I talked with so easily last week I was paralyzed by my emotions. I literally couldn't say a word or even think straight. This is the worst rut I have ever experienced. Perhaps I was too optimistic going into this thing. The first 9 days or so were so easy.
I decided today that I think facebook is a trigger for me. I have a program blocking it every day except Sunday now. We'll see if this helps at all.
This is my first authored post here. Thanks for reading.