Yesterday my girlfriend and I did karezza for about 45 minutes. I felt similar afterwards to how I felt after the last post, peaceful and happy. This time, there was more of a significant feeling of relief and satisfaction. Although, it's different to the relief and satisfaction that is had after an orgasm.
The "relief" after orgasm, in my experience, is a relief from sexual tension. It's relief from sexual frustration - the seeking of pleasure to numb out the underlying pain. The drive to "release" what are actually painful, frustrating feelings. I've always felt trapped by lust, and it's a trap I've wanted to escape for a long time. Yeah, the rush of an orgasm is nice, but it is fleeting, and the frustration-pain-emptiness underneath soon comes back. I've felt chained up by lust for a long time, and I've been trying to escape the lust-trap for a good year or so now. It feels good to be getting a grip on it now, and having a taste of new things.
The relief and satisfaction felt this time, after karezza, was subtle, but ongoing. It's just a light hum of... niceness :) There's no frustration, there's no tiredness. There's only the desire to be close and to continue cuddling, kissing, tickling, giggling. It's a feeling of bonding with my girlfriend.
Yesterday's session was interesting. I was aware of the desire to "plow" when it came up, but it had less of an effect. When it did come up, I breathed the energy up my spine, above my head, down my face, and out of the heart chakra, onto my girlfriend. It reminded me to slow down, and to remember what I'm learning as the true purpose of sex - unconditional love. I would also breath deeply. Whenever the desire to plow comes up, I've noticed that it is accompanied by an intense energy in the groin. So, I guess this breathing/visualizing energy is a way to "redistribute" the energy in the body... Does anybody have any experiences with this? I also felt that doing this was like a prayer to truly heal my addiction.
A really nice thing I noticed yesterday was, whenever I'd hold eye contact with my girlfriend, and her with me, my erection would become much more intense. It was really great. There was a time I went soft inside her. We slowed down and looked into each others eyes as I moved slowly, and my erection suddenly came back :)
Thanks for reading :)