♥ Connection with other blokes

Submitted by westgate on
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I had a fascinating experience tonight.
I was talking with my counsellor as part of ongoing sessions towards coping with my ex (see here). Tonight was our last session, but we started discussing how guys (in our culture) don't really talk to each other. (Please chime in if you have a different experience, as i expect most of the guys here are more in touch with their feminine energy)

Sure, we can d1ck around and make each other laugh... or superficially support each other with a slap on the back, or a 'plenty of fish' comment.. or just go out and get wasted together when you go through a breakup.
But being honest, we rarely connect with each other.

Anyway, my counsellor proposed that we start a group, where blokes can come to talk about stuff that is important to them, and not while we're boozing.

The only comparison i can think of is AA, but it's not about addiction, it's about discussing the important things in life. Talking about how we live and inspiring each other to be better men. Talking about things we struggled with over the last weeks. Where we can share and not be judged. Get advice off other blokes.

While i have no evidence for this, I actually feel that guys need to hang out with, talk and trust (connect with) other guys as much as they do with girls to feel balanced. The bond that forms between blokes feels very different, but its is calming and powerful.

We talked about everyone taking turns to introduce a topic to the group. I toyed with the idea of Karezza as one.

I have no idea if anyone will come, but im inspired by the idea and i know guys who would sit down with me to talk like that back in Oz.

Westgate

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Sounds like a great idea

We see a degree of that comaraderie here and on some of the sites that link to yourbrainonporn.com. It's clearly good for all concerned, and I'm sure it's even better in person. The town where we live founded something called "The ManKind Project," which has a similar function. It also holds ceremonies for initiating adolescents into manhood. http://mankindproject.org/
http://mankindproject.org/new-warrior-training-adventure

I want to be a fly on the wall when you explain karezza. Wink

nice model

Wow, thanks so much for the heads up Marnia!
these guys have been doing this for a while and must have learned some stuff along the way that helps blokes connect, ill explore their work further.

A fly on the wall?... that would be really supportive, it would allow me to wrap up my talk with "as a matter of fact, the author of this book is that fly on the wall right over there"

Great idea bud.

This to me is *more* on topic because it gets at the root of some of the connection problems people face, that void that people try to fill with PMO. Thanks for posting, if I lived around you I'd hang out with a bunch of blokes and talk about some real shit. It sounds like a really good thing.

To answer your other

To answer your other question: I actually am blessed with a lot of male friends that I can talk with really well. We talk about all kinds of stuff: relationships, women and even this reboot.

I do agree that women talk a lot easier and about a lot more, but when you set the right frame you may be surprised at how many guys want to talk about stuff.

thanks lads

@Dano_Clarke
Thank you mate... i decided to remove the 'off topic' part of the title after reading your words. Good luck finding some blokes you can connect with as well.

@Thebeg
Your mates sound really awesome. I have a few mates who are like this, but not here in Sweden. I am changing that one step at a time :)
"you may be surprised at how many guys want to talk about stuff." - im gunna guess nearly every bloke wants other guys to talk to!