Submitted by Blikk on
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I recall reading on this site that one should be careful when bringing up non-orgasmic intercourse with ones partner. One should clearly be sensitive when opening up a dialogue about sexuality with someone. I'm just wondering if anyone has tips on how to present this issue to someone. This really isn't a current issue for me, but I'm curious.

It's tricky

but there are lots of tools on the site that can help. It's mostly a matter of education. In fact, let our material do the work, rather than trying to convince the person yourself. That way their initial shock and resistance will be projected onto us, not you. Maybe you could say something like, "I read something that made some sense to me (despite my resistance), and I'm wondering what you would think about it."

Good places to start are, "Discovering healing and transformation through intimacy"
"Why Does A Lover Pull Away after Sex?" If your partner has ever seen that behavior in herself or another, it will demonstrate the need for such an approach.

We also wrote our book to be used as a tool in just such a situation. In our experience, by the time the person gets to Chapter 4, a lot of their resistance (which gets really strong in Chapter 2) has dissipated. For more information: To see what others have said about it, go here:

In any event these tools should spark some very interesting, useful discussions between you and a partner. They can give you a basis for seeing any subsequent friction differently, making it easier to forgive each other.