#1 Post: Dark Circles under my eyes from PMO! and ED!

Submitted by Thomas PMO Addict on
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Hello everyone!

Please let me say thank you for letting me post here. I happen to have my own story for being here. Thank you for reading my story.

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Right now I am 22 years old. I was starting to watch pornography over the internet at 13 years old. What happened was that I heard of a word called an "orgasm". Well I had full access to the internet with no restrictions. For me I thought of it as a sort of research paper no different than a report on President Abraham Lincoln.

As I was looking into what the whole "orgasm" mystery it would lead to pornography websites. It was really really strange and exciting at the same time! Yes from seeing websites it was because of internet pornography that I had my first orgasm. From then on I wanted to learn more about sexual topics. Using the internet I could easily see nearly many kinds of content sadly I would also orgasm only to that kind of stimulus as well.

Being younger at 13 would mean I had times during the week. I was not in any school club or after school sports. After school on most days would be exciting. To spend about an hour a day watching various kinds of pornography. At the time I would just use up my energy on the tiredness that arrives when a male has an orgasm. It would be an invisible addiction. Learning in school that drugs can kill you and destroy your life. Then there was M.A.D.D. means Mothers Against Drunk Driving. We had speakers come in the school about not to drink and drive.

Though I just thought alcohol and drugs were the only kinds of addictions. Oh yes we were taught about safe sex and only having sex when you are married in school. If I am not with a person and not having sex then what harm could I do? Not doing drugs or drinking beer. I would say that I got no addictions. Today I would say I am 100% addicted to pornography.

Also my own habit was because I just was the looser in school. Did not get a long with any students because I had a strong desire to learn. I'm talking that I would always take my lunch breaks in middle school where you do nothing and relax for 30 minutes. To go to the library to do my homework from the previous classes. Feeling safe in the library because there is no talking allowed. Also no bullies could pass by to say insulting words.

Well time went on using pornography as an outlet for my energy about being a looser. I have to say when I was younger (13 years old to 18 years old) about 3 to 5 times a day to masturbate from viewing pornography. I did not get caught at all from my family. Learning how to be quiet and I could just orgasm in a few minutes. Learning keyboard shortcuts to open up other computer programs and ways to hide any visible pornography worked perfectly.

My own feelings about too much masturbation and using pornography has damaged my body physically and mentally. It was when I was 16 years old the dark circles under my eyes appeared. I'm talking about what people call "raccoon's eyes" when there is a clear dark circle under the eye. Both of my eyes have the effects. It was also at 16 when I noticed my energy really change for the worse. It just was always high energy and now suddenly it is low energy. My mind became foggy meaning I would forget different things. Leading to me always carrying around a small paper pad with a pen in my pocket. I mean simple stuff like my mom saying "Tom please wash the dishes then walk the dog and take out the trash." I would wash the dishes then walk the dog then forget about the trash.

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There is more to my story though I admit I now as an adult have a bunch of problems all related to pornography and over-masturbation:

Today I still have the dark circles under my eyes.
The fatigue of being tired.
Energy overall is low.
A foggy headed feeling that I will forget what to do.
Only able to have an erection from viewing pornography or thoughts stemming from it.
Actual failure to have an erection when having intercourse. From when I lost my virginity to current day.
Using my orgasm as a "medicine" that will only help me sleep at night. If I don't do it then I can not sleep to bed.
I call it orgasm headaches when I masturbate that a strong headache will form in my head. It leads to an all day headache from my orgasm.
Stomach knots from orgasm. When I do have an orgasm I can feel my stomach tighten to the point where I don't want to eat from the pain.

To combat my problem I never did join a group of some kind. Just because I don't fit into the drugs or alcohol or depression or suicidal or whatever groups. It is misunderstood what long term effects of high intensity masturbation can do on the human body.

If a person does not think it leads to physical problems then I suggest you having 5 orgasms a day for years and years on end. Only viewing pornography as a way to stimulate yourself. The day comes when if there is a cut off of either masturbation or pornography for just 1 day. Then you feel like it was this part of your body that no one thought it was there. Literally like your arm or leg. I had no idea it could happen to me.

Though my plan is to get rid of my dark circles under my eyes. I really think if that day happens then could take years. Though I really want to try my best.

I just got mad at myself and need someway to express myself. Hopefully here will be a good way of using my mind and body in a positive way.

Thank you,
~Thomas PMO Addict

PS: I'm sorry that I did not format my post or properly space it out. Just want a lot of ideas written down. I'll have to come back and make my post look better.

You will do it, and you are young

You are young , you can do this. I am 50 and have gone 23 days no PM after 40 plus years. I would have been happy to make the connections you did at such a young age. Of course being the age you are you will naturally tend to have a high sex drive, but how you choose to apply it will be the question.

Congratulations, you are gaining free-will over this addiction, you should be vary happy. You can do this , but we all must beat it "One day at a Time"

Thomas,

I'm no doctor but a couple of perhaps obvious points for you to consider

1) Are you getting enough uninterrupted sleep?
2) Do you have allergies/sinus problems, these can both bring on dark eyes
3) Could the dark eyes be hereditary,do they run in the family?

Congratulations on taking this journey, you will feel a whole lot better in many ways once PMO is out of your life, i'm sure.

Welcome aboard

Welcome aboard Thomas!

Realising this addiction is a bit painful yes, but much more enlightning then not knowing it at all. This means that you finally can do something about it. Don't be mad at yourself, you didn't know the risks of excessive masturbation, nor did other people know. It's just a thing that happened to be this way. The only thing to focus on is the now. Heal yourself and educate others.

I recognize a lot from your post. Especially the erection problems but also the forgetting thing. Over the years I noticed that I forgot stuff easier and easier. I thought it had to do something with getting older (I'm 30 now) but it could very well be related to masturbation.

Anyway, focus on the here and now. This is the time to work on this addiction. Kicking the addiction is hard, but at the same time so important that you should make it one of the top priorities in your life.

Good luck!

Hi Thomas

Sorry you've been suffering. You're not alone. Someday this risk will be common knowledge, but it isn't yet...unfortunately.

Please start your own blog if you like (Click on Members' blogs.). We'll all see your posts there, too. You can link to this one, and then post your experiences as you recover so you have a single journal.

Have you visited YBOP and watched the videos? http://yourbrainonporn.com

This will take time to sort out...but nowhere near as long as it took to create the deep hole you're now in. Get informed of what is entailed, because the withdrawal will be tough. Exercise and daily meditation both help a lot, and there are plenty more tips where those came from: http://yourbrainonporn.com/tools-for-change#tools

Be optimistic. Everyone learns a few things the hard way. You'll soon be an expert on brain plasticity!

*big hug*

hi

not sure if this is still active.. but im curious as to how youre getting on, especially with the dark circles as thats my only problem. do they fade if you cut out masturbation?

From experience, they do.

From experience, they do. Masterbation is a real mystery. People like to talk about how its healthy and a human need. That may be so for some, but it negatively affects me, especially when combined with PMO. Cutting out that filth imrpoves my energy, skin and drastically improves the under eye circles.

Dark Circles

I get them to when I do the dirty deed. Cut out PMO and they will go away. From personal experience, it wont take years. Adopt a healthy diet, start exercising, even just walking, occupy yourself with something and dont PMO. They will go away in a couple of weeks- or at least drastically improve.