Here's A Question for a recovering addict

Submitted by nicolas291985 on
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hello everybody. well, i'm a 22 year old male and just recently (10 days ago) i went on a huge 10 hour porn binge. it was terrible really and i've felt all the symptoms described here. i'm so relieved to finally find a site that expresses what i've always felt. I actually decided to be porn free and masturbation free a long time ago and went for a year and half before my relapse a week ago (which occured partially becuase i wanted to numb the pain from a recent breakup). My question is this.. it says that it's healthy not to mastubate and have an orgasm for 2 weeks and then for as long as possible. while i've felt the result and agree iwth the orgasm part, my question is this: is it ok to masturbate (of course without pornography) if you don't achive an orgasm. The reason i do this is that i find that after long period without any stimpulation it's very hard to last long with my first sexual encounter. Is it unelthy to masturbate if you dont' achieve an orgasm? will it get in the way of my true recovery? i've found that when i do this often the next day i have stronger erections but don't want to continue if it's at the expense of recovering. a respons would be much appreciated. thanks to whoever created this site. you've finally put in words and science what i've always felt to be true.

That's one question I've

That's one question I've been tackling myself:

[quote=nicolas291985]Is it unelthy to masturbate if you dont' achieve an orgasm? will it get in the way of my true recovery? i've found that when i do this often the next day i have stronger erections but don't want to continue if it's at the expense of recovering.[/quote]

I've decided not to "touch myself down there". I've decided to minimize frequency and strength of erections too -- it only reaffirms the feeling that sex is cool and eventually gets you one day back into the addiction. You have to start with changing your very thoughts and feelings. Read my latest blog entry ("The 21-day Journey") for some ideas.

Your call

Experiment for yourself. We found that with lovemaking, going to close to the edge can set off some of the same "withdrawal symptoms," perhaps because dopamine goes "into the red zone"...meaning high enough to drop down later.

penis enhancement

I want to point out that while large penises are often seen as ideal, there is a wide range of vagina sizes out there, too. Therefore, there is no ideal penis size, only better or worse compatibility in how both organs work together. True, the vagina is very adaptable, but I have a number of women friends who are very short and are really happy to find out when someone they are dating is smaller. I'm long so long works for me, but I've noticed that hardness is much more important than size. The g-spot is not very far inside the vagina (tho there are many, many other delicious spots, some farther up).

i don't know anything about "natural" penile enhancement but I do know that, speaking as a woman, penis size is not as important as many men may think in terms of potential pleasure giving.

Thanks, Hotspring

Well said.

c20w, I don't honestly know the answer to your questions, because I was learning about how to ease withdrawal with a partner. Some of this stuff you really just have to work out for yourself. What makes you feel calmer? What just makes the uncomfortable longings worse? Trust your deepest inspiration - as opposed to your most basic instincts Wink

I know I sound like a broken record, but oxytocin has been shown to soothe addiction withdrawal symptoms, and even ease addiction itself. You can produce more yourself by connecting with others (smiles, touch, sharing some laughs), meditating, listening to uplifting music, doing yoga, helping others, and so forth. Exercise is also good, due to endorphins.

These things actually change your neurochemistry, and can help you feel better. This is, of course, why we added the "Ecstatic Exchanges" to our book. They're a way to use generous, affectionate contact to ease withdrawal.

You can read more about oxytocin here, if you're new to the site: http://www.reuniting.info/science/oxytocin_health_bonding