I fail to keep my promise again and again. But recently, I managed not to masturbate for about 3 weeks until one mid-night where I had to do it for breaking through my fear. The problem is that, the toilet/wash room is outside (back-yard) & to urinate I must move out of my house. So, on that particular night, I was alone in my house & got extremely fearful for going to toilet. But in order to counter my fear I became lusty beast & called up my sleeping girl friend to participate in phone sex until I finished urinating & masturbating. Next day, I apologized to my g.f & got extremely disappointed for not keeping up the promise to not masturbate for at least 1 month.
I certainly don't want to masturbate but I feel the necessity to do it for fending off negative emotions such as fear and humiliation etc. How do I turn this around? How can I change my behavior? If I had to face some tough situations then it's very likely that I may break up my promise.