I finallly figured out why I was lacking sexual drive

Submitted by High_Achiever on
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I've always felt a little weird about my situation. I'm a good looking guy and I get approached regularly from other women. The ammount of women who have told me I'm good looking guy is quite a lot. And for some weird reason, I always felt apathic when I had to actually pursue them sexually... It was really weird, because I remember even turning down sex on occassions, or not being able to enjoy oral sex when a girl gave it to me, or the times when a girl was grinding her ass on to me, but I couldn't get it hard. Keep in mind that I'm 22 now....

I really felt weird. I taught something was wrong with me: Do I have low testosterone? Am I not masculine enough to chase after these girls. When I stumbled across this site, I couldn't really take it seriously. But once I started reading some of the "recovery stories" it really clicked. This is me! Especially this signaled to me that something was wrong: I remember being around women who were "objectively" extremely beautifull, but I felt nothing! It sucked, I tried to arouse myself consciously, but off course that doesn't work out.

3 days ago I decided to ban porn out of my life. It's now day 4 and I can already feel some changes: morning wood is happening far more frequently and harder, I also feel more focused and have more energy but I'm also slightly restless.

Anyway so far so good!

I'm going to write a post in another thread about my recovery process.

Keep Up Your Strength

I happen to be 22 too. Certainly I want to see how you do each day. Great job on getting the mental clarity to take a stand and heal your mind and body. The more we try to fight PMO the easier it will get. Support here is awesome :)

Thank you,
Thomas PMO Addict

thanks for the replies

Yeah I'm actually thinking of giving up porn completely. I remember talking about this with my brother and he watches porn every 7 days or so (or less). Which is not much at all.

The great thing is that I feel hope and that I'm already feeling better. What sucks a lot is that if I look back at my dating life, I've had this pattern of apathy the whole time. This sucks...

I also wanted to get a girlfriend and I decided to approach women, but I always felt apathy towards them. Really weird and if I think back about my youth, there were definetly moments when I wasn't feeling like that at all.

Anyway, I'll keep you guys updated.

Sounds like

you'll be chasing goddesses around in no time. Don't you wish all of life's problems were so easy to solve? Smile

I've enabled you to blog if you care to.

no my brother is

No my brother is younger actually. I can definetly see the logic in that argument. When you're older you've probably gathered some experience and you can decide that it is probably not worth your time. I always was a popular guy, but there was a period when I remained more indoors. I think I probably started watching it then. It's now day 5, and I can actually say that I'm already amazed. The only withdrawal symptomps so far are small headaches and waking up 2-3 times a night. But when I wake up I'm always having morning wood and my worning wood is much harder and much more frequent. Which is cool :p

I'll keep you guys updated.

Also may I congratulate you guys on the excellent "your brain on porn" series, and the ammount of articles that you've composed. Especially on the withdrawal symptomps that can be expected. This is great because it shows you that what you are experiencing is normal.

I'm really glad you found

I'm really glad you found this site and have already seen such wonderful improvments in your life; these improvments will get even better as well! I think I have experienced similar scenarios as you. I always had the thought process I should be enjoying this but I'm really not when girls would grind on me. It would be like: I think this girl is stunning and is getting much male attention but I have no desire to pursue her, what is wrong with me.

Yeah, I totally get the

Yeah, I totally get the grinding thing. I remember being in clubs before my reboot, having girls do the whole grinding thing and I didn't respond at all. It was strange.. I also felt the same apathy as you, I ended up trying to hide it and my ED problem and gain some comfort by pursuing one girl for a long time who I knew wasn't interested in being more than friends. It seemed like a good excuse, I feel like i wasted a lot of time there though..

Anyway, Good luck man!
Smokey

exactly!

Yes I recognize the same symptoms!

Man I remember being there with friends and a girl would start dancing close in my environment and was making eye contact and I just didn't respond! I felt apathic! I remember a girl telling me "do you want to come to my afterparty" and I just said, "no I have to get out of bet early". Seriously, a lot of men would kill for these kinds of moments, and I just felt apathy.

positives already:
- I seem to need less sleep. Last night I slept 4-5 hours and today I don't feel tired at all.
- I'm starting to become far more assertive, ambitious and competitive again. Just like it used to be!
- My sleep was stable compared to last night, I didn't woke up 2-3 times.
- Morning wood is very frequent and solid. I'm feeling very proud when I wake up, haha
- I havn't watched porn in 6 days and I also don't feel a single urge to look at it.

I'm still having some apathy towards everyday women, but I think that this will all just pass.

On the blogging thing: are these blogs public? Cause I wouldn't like it, if they are public. Is it okay if I just keep posting in this forum as well?

Post anywhere you like

If you post on your own blog, you can choose the "private" option, which will restrict viewing to members. But not sure what search engines do with that.

I am also happy to remove any post (if you send me a link). And I can change anyone's username to anything they wish.

It'll be interesting to see what you notice in terms of a perception shift toward women. It seems to happen naturally...when your brain gets around to it. Smile