Note to porn visitors about this site [1]

Just to clarify, this site is not about repressing sexuality (that is, trying to avoid orgasm out of fear, because it's "sinful" or dangerous). Nor is it about swearing off masturbation forever. Men who choose to overcome porn addiction have taught *us* that stopping *both* masturbation and orgasm for an extended period makes it easier to quit. This makes sense because anything your brain associates with its addictive, super-stimulating "reward" (porn/masturbation) can trigger intense frustration. Therefore masturbating-without-porn and porn-without-orgasm can throw you back into a compulsive cycle.

Strangely, gentle masturbation *not* to orgasm (and with your attention where you want it, rather than on porn flashbacks) doesn't always cause one to fall back into compulsion. (If it does, the following practice is not recommended.) Sages in the East have recommended exercises based on self-stimulation, combined with drawing your sexual energy up through your body, for many centuries. Here's a sample recipe:

The “own-body yogic sexual practice” calls for the student to self-stimulate the genitals as a conscious exercise or devotional exercise. Orgasm is generally avoided [especially if you are recovering from sex addiction], and the aroused sexual energy breathed down the front of the body and exhaled up the spine in a relaxed manner. The celibate practitioner should engage in this exercise both as a training for sex with a partner, and whenever there is a feeling of concentrated or suppressed sexual energy in the sexual organs, head or heart.

Other such exercises can be found here: http://www.reuniting.info/science/porn_addiction_withdrawal_symptoms_sol... [2]

Falling back into the addiction cycle after orgasm is *less* of a risk once you've recovered your equilibrium (which can take about six weeks). A sweetheart's presence makes this process easier, but slipping into some kind of addictive sexual loop with her is not going to be that big an improvement over porn/masturbation addiction. It tends to cause intense mood swings in both partners...and that tends to making the relationship very co-dependent and then very rocky...and often depressingly short. That would be a huge loss to you both.

So the real goal is returning to balance - whatever that means for you. You want to regain your free will, your sense of well-being, your confidence, your natural sexiness, and that male magnetism that brightens goddesses' days. Friendly contact with others is one of the very best medicines for easing withdrawal symptoms. Even if you don't feel like it, find a way to connect: smiles, eye contact, selfless service, and laughing with friends, colleagues, classmates, and potential sweethearts.

This website began because of the benefits people have noticed for thousands of years when they make love without orgasm. But even that practice is not about "sexual repression." You don't fight yourself. You move very slowly when making love, and you relax into stillness a lot. There is no struggle involved. (And, orgasm occurs from time to time anyway...you just don't try for it.) For more, see:

"The Lazy Way to Stay in Love"
http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/bonding_magic [3]

J. William Lloyd's "The Karezza Method"
http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/lloyd_karezza_method [4]