Historical descriptions

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Amor and PsycheThese are excerpts from texts in which people describe the practice of controlled intercourse.

Hua Hu Ching

Lao Tzu (approximately 2300 years ago)

Where ordinary intercourse is effortful, angelic cultivation is calm, relaxed, quiet, and natural. Where ordinary intercourse unites sex organs with sex organs, angelic cultivation unites spirit with spirit, mind with mind, and every cell of one body with every cell of the other body. Culminating not in dissolution but in integration, it is an opportunity for a man and woman to mutually transform and uplift each other into the realm of bliss and wholeness.

Karezza: Ethics of Marriage

Alice Bunker Stockham, MD (1903)

Letters from lovers

I thank you Dear Doctor, for the Karezza manuscript. I have had experience that has proved its truth to my satisfaction. To me the experience is very sacred, but if it aids to lift the veil (or chain) of animalism from the hearts of women and men and thus open the realm to spiritual possibilities, I have no objection to your using this letter....To make the experiment complete, for several successive cohabitations we kept the physical under complete control--at no time allowing a crisis [orgasm].

We found that neither of us was disturbed in any physical sense. There was no uneasiness, no unrest, no unsatisfied desire. Rather, on the contrary, the satisfaction was complete, resulting in a beautiful rest and a sweet sleep. Each occasion was indeed a sacrament....Following the relation, side by side, in the beautiful stillness, I experienced a peace, a perfect satisfaction passing mortal understanding....Indeed it hath not entered into the heart of man to conceive all the things prepared for him, with the proper appropriation of creative energy.Sincerely, S. (Chicago, 1896)

I am a young man, 24 years of age, enjoying the most vigorous health. For two years after becoming engaged I delayed marriage, simply because I did not think my income sufficient to support a wife and the children which I regarded as an inevitable consequence. Happily for me a friend, who knew my circumstances, wrote me about Zugassent's Discovery [making love without orgasm].

The ideas contained in this discovery were so different from all my preconceived ideas of what constituted marital happiness, that I was inclined to reject them as utterly impracticable and absurd. But the more I thought of the matter the more clearly I saw that if there was a possibility of these new ideas being true, they were exactly adapted to a man in my circumstances, and that they made my marriage immediately practicable. The wholly new thought that retaining the vital force within himself would naturally make a man stronger, clearer and better also seemed to me not irrational.

With some misgivings, therefore, I determined to venture upon marriage, and it has been completely successful. I have had a continuous honeymoon for four years. I have never been conscious of any irksome restraint or asceticism in my sexual experience; and my self-control and strength, mental and physical, have greatly increased since my marriage. In the light of my own experience I regard the idea that the seminal fluid is a secretion that must be got rid of as being the most pernicious and fatal one that can possibly be taught to young people. J.G.

The teachings (sex without orgasm) came to me in a critical and trying time of my life. I had been married several years, and the harmony between my wife and self seemed dying out. She had loved me dearly, but the old sex embrace had no attraction for her, and grew more and more repulsive.

The new teaching brought us into a new heaven and a new earth. I cannot tell you how happy we became. We were simply lovers, but such lovers as we had never been before. An indescribable tenderness pervaded all our relations. My wife showed a sexual power and perfection rare and wonderful. Her mental and moral nature both developed until I hardly knew her, and I for the first time was sure I was a poet. And all this ever increased.

This practice seems to me to be the sex-blending of the moral natures, it seems to call out and arouse to an ecstasy of delight and power the spiritual and poetic nature of both man and women. It gives strength as if it were the key to unlock powers. It is perfectly successful where the two come together with a mutual loving desire to assist and bless each other, to blend and exchange spiritual gifts, to inspire each other to the noblest moods. Then the "heaven" stage is easily reached. J.W.L. For more on Stockham.

Taoist Secrets of Love

Mantak Chia

Quotations from lovers

There have been times in the middle of lovemaking that we’ve both just cried, it is so powerful. That quality of tenderness, that connection. So it’s definitely more than physical....[Receiving a partner’s energy is] like fanning the fire inside yourself and then allowing yourself to melt into it.... I feel fed; it’s like a food.... I become more balanced.

It is a state of prolonged orgasm . . . It is a fusion of opposites, a meltdown . . . This releases a tremendous energy that is truly thrilling as it radiates out to fill every cell of your body and joins it together with your lover.

It’s an extraordinary communication between partners that [extends] beyond the sex experience to the relationship itself. We feel the energy flow, frequently outside of sex itself.

This is a total orgasm of body and soul. The battling ego shrinks to its true size, a tiny grain of sand, and reluctantly begins humming in chorus with the ocean of the subtle universe that rhythmically washes over it.

Male Continence

John Humphrey Noyes (1872)

John Humphrey Noyes, a divinity school graduate, began using Male Continence (no ejaculation) in the mid-1800's. Here's how he describes the process:

In normal condition, men are entirely competent to choose in sexual intercourse whether they will stop at any point in the voluntary stages of it, and so make it simply an act of communion, or go through to the involuntary stage, and make it an act of propagation.

The situation may be compared to a stream in three conditions, viz., 1 a fall; 2 a course of rapids above the fall; and 3 still water above the rapids. The skillful boatman may choose whether he will remain in the still water, or venture more or less down the rapids, or run his boat over the fall where he has no control over his course; and just above that, there is a point where he will have to struggle with the current in a way which will give his nerves a severe trial, even though he may escape the fall. If he is willing to learn, experience will teach him the wisdom of confining his excursions to the region of easy rowing. For more on Noyes.

The Karezza Method

J. William Lloyd (1931)

lovers in the lightIn successful Karezza the sex-organs become quiet, satisfied, demagnetized, as perfectly as by the orgasm, while the rest of the body of each partner glows with a wonderful vigor and conscious joy, or else with a deep, sweet, contentment, as after a happy play; tending to irradiate the whole being with romantic love; and always with an after-feeling of health, purity and wellbeing....

In Karezza, the partners unfold and separate reluctantly, lingeringly, kissing, clinging, petting to the last, thrilled with and rehearsing memories, glowing with an affection and admiration which they feel can never end....

Keep your thoughts on love, not passion....If your passion threatens to overcome you, pause and sublimate it into tenderness of love. Feel strong and confident and say "I can!" Maintain your own positiveness. Feel yourself stronger than she is, that your passions are. But above all think of your spiritual love. Let her be utterly relaxed physically, let her hold the thought of Peace. Yet for her to hold the thought "I will help him!" would help....

In proportion as you acquire the habit and power of withdrawing the electric qualities from your sexual stores and giving them out in blessing to your partner from your sex-organs, hands, lips, skin, everywhere' from your eyes and the tones of your voice; will you acquire the power to diffuse and bestow the sex-glory, envelop yourselves in its halo and aura, and to satisfy yourself and satisfy her without an orgasm....[This practice] is the great beautifier. Every look from your eyes, yes, every touch of your hands, and the tones of your voice will become vibrant with magnetic charm. For more on Lloyd.

Sacred Sexuality

Georg Feuerstein (1992)

The pleasure I felt was throughout my body. I had no conscious control over it, and I didn’t feel limited by my body. It was like I was overflowing - swimming through [my husband] Carl - swimming through God. I felt totally ecstatic.....I felt finally at one with my sexuality. And I felt the closeness of God as never before....Pure love. It went on and on.

All of a sudden I felt no separation between us....It was so uncomplicated and natural, and my mind was amazingly calm and quiet.

[After a night of lovemaking] I felt as though I was conscious or constantly awake on some higher plane. The entire day I remember feeling totally and perfectly relaxed. In this perfect relaxation I stood outside of time. To say there was no beginning or ending of time would seem irrelevant. There was simply no time....[I was aware that everything material] was all spontaneously and playfully arising from one great source.... Somehow I had become infinity with eyes. I felt as if I had just been born in that moment, or that I had been asleep all my life and had just awakened. I also remember thinking that this was the true condition of everyone and that everyone could know this....This particular moment remains, seventeen years later, the single most significant moment of my life....I remained in this state of edgelessness for about three weeks, and life was intensely magnified....I ate almost nothing during this period....I remember telling my lover that it felt as if my spine were plugged into the "universal socket" and that it was a source of infinite energy....During this time I was more creative than I had ever been (or have been since) both at work and outside of work....I also became prescient, seeing into the future and then later experiencing the scenes I had foreseen down to the last detail....I loved everyone, including my lover, the same, infinitely. There was really no one separate to loved.

Every time we made love, I had an out-of-body trip. It was like moving through a tunnel at warp speed, moving through space, passing stars and planets until I seemed to be at the center of the cosmos. The universe opened up to me....All the beautiful colors of the rainbow would pulse through me at times....I experienced such love the whole time and was awestruck and in loving tears during our lovemaking. My love enveloped everything from the microscopic to the most gigantic galaxies.